Life goals, Lifestyle

Finding a job you love

I know that this is kind of cliché, because honestly who has a job that they love? It seems like something that should be so simple, and yet it’s so hard to actually find a job that you love. And in todays day and age it’s required to have a job so you need to go out and pick something that you are able to support yourself on. So we end up picking a job, even if we hate it, just so we can survive. Yay, real world. It sucks.

I know the harsh truth of this all too much, having spent my entire life doing things that I didn’t not actually enjoy. I dreaded going to work, I was miserable and unhappy and hated what I was doing with every fiber of my being. I’d been doing the same thing since I was 16, and it wasn’t good. I know that jobs aren’t meant to be fun, and they aren’t meant to be enjoyed. But why not? And why is the first response to someone hating their job to tell that person they need to try harder or do better because the reason they hate their job is all their fault.

My mom would always tell me this, it was on the list of lectures that I got. Everything was what I would make it, even if I didn’t have the “best” job I could still make it better. Something happened at work? She would respond that she has always had it worse. This only added to the feeling of unhappiness to be quite honest. I was in a dead end job that I hated, and at the same time I was being made to feel like it was all my fault and I needed to make a change.

My job, Don’t get me wrong, I liked working with kids. I did not like the other aspects. So much crap went down, workers filtered out faster than a toilet flushed. For a long time I was doing so much over time I would arrive at 630 in the morning and wouldn’t leave until well after 4 or 5 in the afternoon. This was everyday for a while actually. I would get an hour lunch break (we get a paid 30 minute one so I would essential get a half hour off my work time to be able to stay longer) and it was called good. When they finally realized how long I was working they were shocked. I remember my boss saying to me “I didn’t realize how much you had been working” like it was a shock to them even though I was there all day everyday. Somedays I didn’t even get that extra break, which royally sucked.

The cherry on top was being asked the day of to stay late, or when I was “on call” unofficially they would call hours before they needed me. Each time when I was not able to I was told that I was required to do this and saying no wasn’t an option. Or I would be sighed at. There was the one time that I had missed a meeting because they way they told employees about a meeting was solely verbal. When I was cornered and asked why I had missed it I simply said (while extremely busy taking kids to the bathroom mind you, I was literally doing my job) that I honest to goodness didn’t know about it. I was accused of having an attitude and was told, kid you not, this is why people complain about me all the time because I have such a bad attitude.

Now I am a pretty emotionally aware person. I can get worked up, I get crazy, but I fully realize when I am being unreasonable and when I am not doing anything at all. That time, I didn’t do anything. I answered a question in a rather bland non emotional tone. So maybe I just have resting bitch face or something because I don’t know how I was chewed out that much and made to feel as though everyone hated me. At that point why was I even hired there?

Eventually I moved from that center though, thankfully I had moved towns I was in and was able to say that I found another center closer to where I now was living. However it was then that I realized I just didn’t enjoy childcare, and the things that came with it. I was good at my job, I did everything I was asked plus some. baby-2981946_960_720.jpgBut that’s the problem in a job like that. You have the people that try so hard and they get the brunt of it all because they actually work and then you have the people that just sit on their butts doing nothing still getting paid because they think childcare means just being in the room with the kids.

And I am not trying to complain about how crappy my work situation was, or place blame or anything like that. I’m telling the facts so that people can get an idea of what working in childcare is like. As much as I loved working with kids, there is just too much other stuff that goes on that burns you out. And while the new center was better by far it came with it’s whole slew of issues as well.

People would get hired then sit, literally sit all day doing absolutely nothing. The boss wouldn’t fire anyone and they new it. The one time the boss stepped up and told some employees that they needed to step up with their job, they stopped coming to work. We had a girl that was hired who sat. Nothing but sitting, and gossiping. Talking smack, and literally hating anyone who actually did their job. It was a fight working with her, asking her to do something made her mad. Then she would talk crap about you to everyone, also not realizing that if she was in the other room that was attached to the one I worked in YOU COULD HEAR EVERY WORD. Classy. Also classy, her talking about her entire personal life, like every extreme detail of every personal thing she did. In front of the kids. I mean I know they’re like 1-2 years old but still, not appropriate. But despite employees acting like that, and causing so much drama, they were never fired. Either because the boss was too nice or just too afraid of losing people because hiring new ones is so much harder.

I have since quit childcare altogether and moved on to yoga.29389458_10211698395800431_8398133395648937984_o Last I heard that one girl is still working, I remember on my second to last day I could hear her talking smack about me. Mocking me because I had quit so I could instead teach yoga. Like of all the things to mock someone about, you’re really going to mock me for finding a more flexible job, better hours and better pay? I simply made it known that I could hear her, didn’t say a word and just walked off. My look, I’m assuming, was something resembling “I am so done with you but you aren’t even worth a fight or a response.” And I have not a single regret that I ever quit because as much as I loved that center the people (okay one person in particular) there were enough to make me never want to return.

The process to yoga was long and difficult, the training was long. The hunt for job was even longer. And the disappointment was a bitter, harsh truth of my reality. I spent months not working, desperately trying to find anything. And while I was extremely blessed that my husband made enough to cover everything it was not without hardship.

And now, I have a great job. For about a month now I have been doing the training, going to classes and teaching! I don’t want to be that person who is jumping for joy because I have moved on in life, not really seeing the bigger picture. But you can generally tell pretty quickly what kind of job it’s going to be. My first month at both childcare jobs were pretty telling, and I soon learned what they would be like. But my first month teaching yoga was literal gold. Okay not literally, but I haven’t enjoyed working this much like ever. After I teach I have a little bounce. I’m happy, and excited to be doing it. I love to see people love what I am teaching, and I love everything about my job. While I have set classes I can also add in some subbing as well, essential working as much or as little as I want.

But to get to this point was a lot of work. I worked so hard, trained hard and got myself to where I am today. And while those lectures from my mom essential at the time didn’t make much sense I realized that yes I need to make the change. So I changed careers, and while that is probably not what my mom meant it has certainly worked for me.25075081_10210934710028764_8413503960227464115_o

So, hang in there. We can make our own futures. It might take time, but I believe that if we don’t like something in life we have the ability to change it. And if you have a really sucky job, I understand. I have been there. I am 23, turning 24 and I have just now figured out what I want to do with my life. There is no age limit as to when you need to figure this out. There is no deadline, and there is nothing saying that you can’t go after your dreams after the age of 21. And yes, sometimes we need to work crappy jobs, but that doesn’t mean that we need to be stuck in them forever. An opportunity will come along, and eventually you will be able to follow a dream and find a job that you can truly enjoy.

Lifestyle, Social media

Don’t trust the people on the internet

So, how many times have we heard this in our life? If you’re a 90’s kid, like me, you have probably heard this a million times over.giphy Don’t trust people online, don’t give them details about yourself, that person in the chat is OBVIOUSLY a 65 year old male looking for a young girl. Profiles are fake, people lie etc. I grew up honestly believing the worst in people, especially those who are online. And while I may not have been online a whole ton during my childhood, I still was aware of the warnings. Only being allowed to play Neopets online; and only after my sister had done it first, giving the approval that yes I would ONLY be using it for games.

My first facebook account was hidden from my mom, which I felt so guilty about I immediately deleted and than asked her if I could make one and she relented. Talking to people online was such a foreign thing to me, like I still thought that I had to seriously protect my email because if the wrong person got a hold of it then someone could know everything about me. Chats were a huge no and you can forget about connecting with people at all besides calling them on the home phone or talking to them in person.

I was also of the generation that grew up with the introduction of cell phones into all of our daily lives. I can remember picking up the oldest, crappiest flip phone from a free box at a garage sale and all my friends thought I was literally the because I had a (unserviced) cell phone. I was 12, this was the life that I grew up in. 10670275_10202881873312879_6495196671531450835_n

But slowly, we all got phones and we all got facebook. My Facebook dates back to 2008 so I was one of the firsts. Not super early I know, but I can remember when facebook became a thing. After being released to everyone, it was thrilling to be signing up for something that could instantly connect me to all my friends, plus some people that I knew but had never actually talked to. I wasn’t quite old enough at the time to have had a myspace, nor was it really that popular like facebook has become.

cool-momBut the warnings still stayed, even when society began changing. My mom constantly asked me who I was talking to. Who I was chatting. “Who are you texting” she would ask. much to my annoyance because I was not about to tell her about the cute guy I liked that week. I wasn’t about to tell her about my friends conversations, I was not about to tell her any of the conversations I had. Not because they were particularly bad, but because I grew up in the generation that NEEDED to protect who they talked to and about what because then we would get the “lecture” and we grew up hearing it so we didn’t want it anymore. I was constantly questioned about who I was talking to; their age, gender, what their family was like, siblings, parents, did they go to church? How do I know them? I remember my mom getting so mad one time because upon this intense questioning about one of my close friends I mumbled a very annoyed “I don’t know” or a blasé one word answer. She had told me “when I was younger I knew everything about my friends, I knew all about their family, I knew what they liked and I even knew how long their parents had been together.” saying this in a very matter of factly, and judgmental, sort of way. It wasn’t that I didn’t know, but I was sick of being peppered with a million questions because somehow if I knew the wrong person I would end up dead. giphy-2If I talked to the “wrong” person, was associated in anyway or was friends with them, that could mean life or death. And while I can understand the fear of this in any parents eyes now, as a child it seemed a little too much to have to tell my mom every friends whole life story.

So, when I got to college, things really changed. I had a taste of freedom that I had not had before, especially with the internet. Not drastically mind you, but that warning began to fade from my mind. My first room mate was assigned to me and I got to know her through her facebook. Although facebook did a poor job, mainly because you make facebook what you want it to be. That was my first lesson in the reality of online.

I began to grow my twitter, chatting with people over twitter threads about how awesome Buffy the Vampire Slayer was. I’ve had twitter almost as long as facebook, thanks to a certain high school blocking facebook and not twitter; all the kids at my school signed up for one. This was my first taste of the friendliness of strangers on the internet. The warnings all but faded in my mind at this point. I mean my mom never really spent that much time warning us so much as banning us from really chatting with random strangers online. And while she had interrogated the crap out of us, or at least tried, about who we were in contact she didn’t have to continually tell us to be wary of the internet. The times she did say it, combined with the need to know every thing we did, was enough to put the warning in our head.

So, when I decided that college wasn’t for me, and I left the big ol city of Chicago to travel back to dreary old Iowa I had (in all reality) nothing to do. I had snagged a part time on call job at the time and had whole mornings free. I was not used to this, I had no class, no tests, no social life anymore. I really suck at making friends and all the ones I had made I had left back in Chicago. So I made use of my library, using the online catalogue. I remember that this was about the time that John Greens “The Fault in Our Stars” came out. I read it, I loved it and I wanted more. Somehow, I had stumbled upon the depths of youtube “book tube” community. I found a fan music video for TFIOS and instantly fell in love. When I realized that there was this whole community making videos solely dedicated to books I was thrilled.booktubes1 I wanted to be a part of this, I wanted to join in. So, I sat down and filmed a review on my phone of enders game. The video (and my channel) has long since been deleted. I filmed it wrong, the quality sucked but I was hooked. I began to follow book people on twitter, talk to them about their channels. Have discussions over different books. And my life changed.

This certainly wasn’t the first time I had chatted with people online. I constantly frequented Omegle, and many friends I had made from camp were strictly online. Although Omegle was a little more risqué. You had to be pretty careful when on Omegle. But Omegle was good for a chat when you were bored, or for a nice troll once in a while.


I began to “meet” people online, we shared the same interests and we got along really well. I had never been wonderful at making friends so to be quite honest it was mostly me talking to people on their stuff they posted and them responding. But a few people actually stuck around. And some people I even talk to today. I remember I met one of my friends in the book tube community. We both made videos and both enjoyed it but did not have the major passion for it that others did. We don’t always talk every day or even every week but we still communicate and that friendship means a lot to me. Pushing past those warnings and boundaries, proving that not every single person online is a pedophile.

I met another friend over Game of Thrones, and we chat on occasion as well. While we haven’t exchanged personal information I do consider us to be good friends. We share a lot of the same views, and a huge love for game of thrones.

And just recently, I joined twitch. I have had the best conversations with people over video games. I have no fear telling people about myself now. Heck I run a blog where I try to be as open as possible. You can truly meet some really amazing people online, and while the warnings we received as children held some truth we also live in a very different world now. We live and thrive in an online world. People make money from youtube. People Stream them playing a game, and as weird as it sounds, you meet some really solid people on there. twitch_logo_animation

And to be quite honest, the people online have never really hurt me quite like the people in my real life right now. All of my best friends are “online” or texting friends. Mainly because I made my best friends in Chicago and then moved. I also really suck at keeping friends apparently, and have somehow made the ones who live close to me mad. So I love my online friends. I love my gaming buds, my bookish peeps, my tv show pals, I love my dearest best friends who I have to text because they live 6 hours away.

And while I still interact with real life people, in the real world, the online ones just connect with me more. They mean so much, and maybe it’s because we share interests or maybe because I communicate better online or maybe I just come off as less annoying online. Who knows, but what I do know is that these friends stick by me while the ones in my life don’t really do that. And I could be holding up a huge standard for people in my life to meet, but when it becomes apparent that the people online will make an effort to talk to you, to read your stuff or watch your streams but the people in your actual life can’t text you back or hang out or support you in any way as a friend it’s not hard to realize why I like my online friends so much.

I’m also not saying that all people online are golden either, I have definitely met the worst of some online. People who get mad when you say a simple statement, who abuse you for having a certain view. It happens a lot in the book community actually. Someone likes a book and the whole community shuns them because that book is “bad” or there was the time that I pointed out that no matter how terrible a book is said to be it’s morally wrong to purposely go to Goodreads and give them a bad review without even trying to read the book. And same goes for reviewing it very well if you haven’t read it. Online, it can be a mess sometimes. Theres sucky people everywhere. But at least online you can control what you see a little bit more.


But really what it boils down to is finding people with similar interests who you can get along with. Wether thats online, or in real life. And take the internet warning with a grain of salt. Be safe, sure but don’t think that every single person online is a terrible person just out to get you.


Lifestyle, Uncategorized

Blog Changes

I really want to keep up a blog, it’s something that I have been wanting to do for a while and yet never have seem to settle on one blog. Honestly I’ve gone through several. Book blogs, Christian blogs, lifestyle blogs. Each topic I am passionate about. But I can never seem to keep up a blog solely on a single topic. I thought this time around I would be able to track my journey of trying to eat more plants. I thought with the added bonus of yoga, zero waste, essential oils and other similar topics it would be a breeze. But honestly, there is just not that much to talk about. Once I played out my entire life and journey and what I am trying to accomplish I was at a road block. I promised posts and they just didn’t happen.

Now I don’t blog to gain followers, or likes or anything. I blog because I love to write and I love to talk about things. Mainly a blog is a good way to connect with others with similar interests and things like that. As much as I would like to keep this a singular blog, I honestly just can’t.

Now I’m not saying that I am going to delete my whole blog and leave people hanging. I’m just saying that I want to expand. I want more in my blog. I want to be able to talk about what I want without feeling as though I need to fit into some standard that I had initially set up for myself. I don’t want to be tied down but a singular topic that I had decided I needed to blog about. So I am expanding. Instead of being a solely vegan blog, or solely yoga, zero waste etc I want to just expand to a basic lifestyle blog.

So in this blog, I will be talking about-well- my life. I read a lot, I do photography, I love cats, I try my best to make it to church every sunday and read my bible. I game- a lot- all types of game. I love board games, I love books, heck I even love to review a good book. I’m married, I rent an apartment. I’m from Iowa, best known for cows and corn. And I love meeting new people and chatting about similar things. So that’s what I want this blog to reflect. My loves, my life, events and just all in general lifestyle things.

I will fully understand if this change seems sudden, or too much. I’m not going to take it personally if I get a few unfollows for this. Like I said I’m not doing this to gain followers or anything. It’s just nice to write things out. So if the new variety is not what you signed up for when you followed this blog that’s okay. People change, blogs change, social medias change. When I first started twitter it was because facebook was blocked at my high school. Then when I got to college I was huge into Buffy and followed 50+ million accounts dedicated to Buffy. Then it was books, and reviews, then plant eating things, zero waste and now games. I’ve come to realize that tying to limit myself to just one thing I like is impossible.

So, I’m going to update my blog. The name, maybe layout, header photo and web address (if I can). But it will still be me, still the same quirky (or really bad) blog posts. It’s just going to expand, be a little more broad and talk about real things in my life. I will not delete old posts. I will just add on. Book reviews, real life chats and struggles, favorite games, my experiences streaming and game happenings, photography, things that hit home with my christian life, encouragement and general items like that. Also obsessive cat posts because cats are the bomb.

So just giving everyone a heads up, that I will be transitioning to a lifestyle blog and not just a veganish blog. If you guys stay on board for this process I will seriously love you. If it’s not your cup of tea, I will still seriously love you.

If there is anything you guys want to hear about as well, just hit me up and let me know. I am by no means an expert on anything but I do have a lot of things that happen in my life and know a thing or two about general life stuff. Thank you for all your patience as I try and figure out who I am in blog form.

Life goals, Lifestyle, Vegan, Yoga, Zero waste

Back into blogging

Hey guys this will be super short. Sorry for not posting often and like not at all, I needed some mental health days like desperately bad. Which ended up with me playing lots of Minecraft and falling in love with survival mode. I also became addicted to streaming on Twitch because if I’m going to waste the day playing I might as well share right? Gaming therapy! Weird, but I do love me some good games. So now that I am back to my fully peppy self I am planning lots of blog posts to come with some super tasty recipes! I have a homemade vegan pasta, homemade vegan cinnamon rolls AND homemade vegan chocolate cake all coming up as well as some zero more zero waste tips including how to deal with being zero waste when you’re just not feeling it, what to do about books and paper and more.

I also have some exciting yoga news as well coming soon, and I am making up flows like MAD and will soon be sharing those as well that you can totally feel free to take, use and modify for your own use.

Comment below if you would like it if I started doing some yoga flows on youtube plus some other things like baking and shopping.

Okay so I have already run the limit on this short post, that’s all I have for now. If there are any topics that you want me to cover please comment down below. I thrive on feedback so please feel free to pester me 🙂

Thank you for all your understanding and I promise to be back on schedule very soon. Also kitten picture because they are so cute! I love my kitties.