I know that this is kind of cliché, because honestly who has a job that they love? It seems like something that should be so simple, and yet it’s so hard to actually find a job that you love. And in todays day and age it’s required to have a job so you need to go out and pick something that you are able to support yourself on. So we end up picking a job, even if we hate it, just so we can survive. Yay, real world. It sucks.
I know the harsh truth of this all too much, having spent my entire life doing things that I didn’t not actually enjoy. I dreaded going to work, I was miserable and unhappy and hated what I was doing with every fiber of my being. I’d been doing the same thing since I was 16, and it wasn’t good. I know that jobs aren’t meant to be fun, and they aren’t meant to be enjoyed. But why not? And why is the first response to someone hating their job to tell that person they need to try harder or do better because the reason they hate their job is all their fault.
My mom would always tell me this, it was on the list of lectures that I got. Everything was what I would make it, even if I didn’t have the “best” job I could still make it better. Something happened at work? She would respond that she has always had it worse. This only added to the feeling of unhappiness to be quite honest. I was in a dead end job that I hated, and at the same time I was being made to feel like it was all my fault and I needed to make a change.
My job, childcare. Don’t get me wrong, I liked working with kids. I did not like the other aspects. So much crap went down, workers filtered out faster than a toilet flushed. For a long time I was doing so much over time I would arrive at 630 in the morning and wouldn’t leave until well after 4 or 5 in the afternoon. This was everyday for a while actually. I would get an hour lunch break (we get a paid 30 minute one so I would essential get a half hour off my work time to be able to stay longer) and it was called good. When they finally realized how long I was working they were shocked. I remember my boss saying to me “I didn’t realize how much you had been working” like it was a shock to them even though I was there all day everyday. Somedays I didn’t even get that extra break, which royally sucked.
The cherry on top was being asked the day of to stay late, or when I was “on call” unofficially they would call hours before they needed me. Each time when I was not able to I was told that I was required to do this and saying no wasn’t an option. Or I would be sighed at. There was the one time that I had missed a meeting because they way they told employees about a meeting was solely verbal. When I was cornered and asked why I had missed it I simply said (while extremely busy taking kids to the bathroom mind you, I was literally doing my job) that I honest to goodness didn’t know about it. I was accused of having an attitude and was told, kid you not, this is why people complain about me all the time because I have such a bad attitude.
Now I am a pretty emotionally aware person. I can get worked up, I get crazy, but I fully realize when I am being unreasonable and when I am not doing anything at all. That time, I didn’t do anything. I answered a question in a rather bland non emotional tone. So maybe I just have resting bitch face or something because I don’t know how I was chewed out that much and made to feel as though everyone hated me. At that point why was I even hired there?
Eventually I moved from that center though, thankfully I had moved towns I was in and was able to say that I found another center closer to where I now was living. However it was then that I realized I just didn’t enjoy childcare, and the things that came with it. I was good at my job, I did everything I was asked plus some. But that’s the problem in a job like that. You have the people that try so hard and they get the brunt of it all because they actually work and then you have the people that just sit on their butts doing nothing still getting paid because they think childcare means just being in the room with the kids.
And I am not trying to complain about how crappy my work situation was, or place blame or anything like that. I’m telling the facts so that people can get an idea of what working in childcare is like. As much as I loved working with kids, there is just too much other stuff that goes on that burns you out. And while the new center was better by far it came with it’s whole slew of issues as well.
People would get hired then sit, literally sit all day doing absolutely nothing. The boss wouldn’t fire anyone and they new it. The one time the boss stepped up and told some employees that they needed to step up with their job, they stopped coming to work. We had a girl that was hired who sat. Nothing but sitting, and gossiping. Talking smack, and literally hating anyone who actually did their job. It was a fight working with her, asking her to do something made her mad. Then she would talk crap about you to everyone, also not realizing that if she was in the other room that was attached to the one I worked in YOU COULD HEAR EVERY WORD. Classy. Also classy, her talking about her entire personal life, like every extreme detail of every personal thing she did. In front of the kids. I mean I know they’re like 1-2 years old but still, not appropriate. But despite employees acting like that, and causing so much drama, they were never fired. Either because the boss was too nice or just too afraid of losing people because hiring new ones is so much harder.
I have since quit childcare altogether and moved on to yoga. Last I heard that one girl is still working, I remember on my second to last day I could hear her talking smack about me. Mocking me because I had quit so I could instead teach yoga. Like of all the things to mock someone about, you’re really going to mock me for finding a more flexible job, better hours and better pay? I simply made it known that I could hear her, didn’t say a word and just walked off. My look, I’m assuming, was something resembling “I am so done with you but you aren’t even worth a fight or a response.” And I have not a single regret that I ever quit because as much as I loved that center the people (okay one person in particular) there were enough to make me never want to return.
The process to yoga was long and difficult, the training was long. The hunt for job was even longer. And the disappointment was a bitter, harsh truth of my reality. I spent months not working, desperately trying to find anything. And while I was extremely blessed that my husband made enough to cover everything it was not without hardship.
And now, I have a great job. For about a month now I have been doing the training, going to classes and teaching! I don’t want to be that person who is jumping for joy because I have moved on in life, not really seeing the bigger picture. But you can generally tell pretty quickly what kind of job it’s going to be. My first month at both childcare jobs were pretty telling, and I soon learned what they would be like. But my first month teaching yoga was literal gold. Okay not literally, but I haven’t enjoyed working this much like ever. After I teach I have a little bounce. I’m happy, and excited to be doing it. I love to see people love what I am teaching, and I love everything about my job. While I have set classes I can also add in some subbing as well, essential working as much or as little as I want.
But to get to this point was a lot of work. I worked so hard, trained hard and got myself to where I am today. And while those lectures from my mom essential at the time didn’t make much sense I realized that yes I need to make the change. So I changed careers, and while that is probably not what my mom meant it has certainly worked for me.
So, hang in there. We can make our own futures. It might take time, but I believe that if we don’t like something in life we have the ability to change it. And if you have a really sucky job, I understand. I have been there. I am 23, turning 24 and I have just now figured out what I want to do with my life. There is no age limit as to when you need to figure this out. There is no deadline, and there is nothing saying that you can’t go after your dreams after the age of 21. And yes, sometimes we need to work crappy jobs, but that doesn’t mean that we need to be stuck in them forever. An opportunity will come along, and eventually you will be able to follow a dream and find a job that you can truly enjoy.